Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Solstice


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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Speck's Solstice Miracle

For those of you who didn't catch the drama here is the outline.

  • 7.45 am Monday. Speck's breakfast is supplied and as an added consideration the cage is moved (single-handed) in order to provide some shade on what was to be a very hot day.


  • 7.47 am Monday. Cage door swings open and Speck makes a dash for it and vanished. I mean totally vanishes. Panic sets in. Zany is called and panic increases. the danger of snakes, water-dragons, wasps and the large and evil tree pythons, is tossed to one side as a massive Speck hunt takes place. ZILCH. NOTHING. NADA.


  • The rest of the day is spent in hourly hunts, offers of cooked lunches, bribes of young willing females... all to no avail.


  • Night falls and while I go out to drown my sorrows and confess to Speck's distraught owner that the beast has escaped... Zany continues night patrols with torch, while calling out increasingly improbable bribes of cullinary delights and supple maidens with unquenchable and peverse desires. NO RESPONSE. ZIP. ZERO NOTHING.


  • SLEEPLESS NIGHT. 5 am Zany goes searching. 6 am I go searching. 7 am take lonely remaining prisoner breakfast and move cage. As I lift the cage I notice a Speck coloured bookmark, flattened into the dirt. It looks like a postage stamp, except wider. I pick it up and it giggles. It laughs at me... You couldn't find me! Ha! Stupid you! Somehow this amazing creature has endured 36 degree temperatures, no water and having the entire Hilton on top of him.


  • End result? Speck is alive, well, unbroken and no longer resembles and bookmark.


  • 6pm tonight. Speck demands a new maiden. Whispers to me that he prefers a dusky chocolate-coloured siren. Mmmmm Maybe as a New Years present....In the meantime - Speck has been renamed: Bookmark.


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    Monday, December 19, 2005

    Recipe "Leche Lumbard"

    "Leche Lumbard"
    (Pork Rissoles in Red Wine Sauce)

    Rissoles:
    1 kg minced pork
    2 medium eggs
    1 level dessert spoon sugar
    1 level dessert spoon salt
    100g stoneless raisins(chopped small)
    100g currants
    100g stoneless dates (chopped small)
    1 tsp coarse ground black pepper
    ½ tsp ground cloves
    Parsley for garnish

    Sauce:
    100g ground almonds
    4 fl oz boiling water
    4 fl oz sweet white wine (or chicken stock)
    50g stoneless raisins
    10 fl oz red wine
    1 tsp saffron
    1 tsp ground cinnamon
    1 tsp ground ginger
    ½ tsp ground cloves

    Put the minced pork in a large bowl and add the sugar, salt, raisins, currants, dates, black pepper and cloves – mix well. Beat the eggs and add to the pork mixture. Knead the mixture until it has bonded together.

    Turn out onto floured board and divide into approx 20 equal portions. Roll each portion into a fat sausage shape.

    Place on a greased baking tray and bake in the oven on 150°C for 30 to 40 minutes.
    Place the ground almonds in a bowl and pour over the boiling water and sweet white wine and leave to stand for 10 minutes (this is to make “almond milk”).

    Pour the red wine into a pan and stir in the raisins, saffron, cinnamon, ginger and cloves.

    Add the almond milk to the wine, raisins and spices and blend well.

    Bring very gently to the boil and then simmer for 10 minutes.

    Place the baked rissoles in the dish in which you intend to serve them (needs to be oven proof). Pour the sauce over the rissoles and put the dish back into the oven for a further 10 minutes. Sprinkle with chopped parsley to serve.

    Alternate method: I found it works well to make little meatballs of the pork mixture and pan fry them till cooked, then add the sauce ingredients to the pan and simmer gently for 10-15 minutes until it thickens. Much quicker and equally yummy!

    Tags:

    In Absentia : Red'sThree Christmas Gifts under the Pomegranite Tree


    First Gift (The one with the gold wrapping): The golden oldies of the Festive Season............

    a. The Humbuggers: Humbuggery is as much Christmas as sleigh bells and wassail ---- or in Barkala Street, Rastas and Samir. But, the humbugger is not even so much our alter ego as our familiar. He participates with us as we play our Christmas games. He searches Christmas out so as to have a venue to humbugger (and to receive generous and copious gifts). The twinkle of lights inspires him as it does us. And, most importantly, he understands and believes that behind Christmas is something greater than what stands before us (such as a wife who demands thsat some money be spent on her).

    Modern humbuggers often ramble on about the commercialization of Christmas -- ad nauseum, I am afraid. Of course, they would equally rail against the commercialization of life itself in a larger sense, but that would undermine the special holiday pleasure of taking Santa's name in vain. Modern humbuggers often snicker at all the lights and sweetmeats and specificities of Christmas, averring that it is all hollow or meaningless. But they too line up, demanding, "We all want our prezzies! Where are my prezzies??" just as do dedicated Christmas sprites.

    Because humbuggers merely celebrate the season of warmth and giving in a different fashion ... we must be patient with them as one would be with a child, humour them and allow them to find batteries for the lights, not force any Christmas pudding on them - but not forget the chocolates and ice cream --- and give them the same courtesy and acceptance as we give all the various Christmastime celebrations. Let them grumble by the raging barbie fire, and pass them another mug of wassail, i.e. guinness.

    b. Charades: Christmas time is of course a time for indulging, binging and bulging -- and the playing of games. At the time of the writing no one has volunteered a main course, so I would like to offer a recipe for a main course in the form of a short play/recipe reading a la Harold Pinter. Sandy was given a book of a complete history of world literature in 14 recipes called Kafka's Soup. On page 82 is the recipe for Cheese on Toast such as Harold Pinter would have written it. John and Nicole can read the play/recipe, while Suzanna and Sandy prepare the actual dish. (Rastas is allowed to say Humbug! as often as he likes and all the other saunaites may applaud and eat the result)



    Second Gift (the one with the Tartan ribbon): Frankly, a little cence for you all........

    I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...

    I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

    I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

    I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

    I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

    I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

    I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

    I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.

    I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

    I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

    I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

    I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

    I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

    I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

    I’ve learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

    I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the rear are permanent.

    Third Gift (the one with the big red bow on top): No party is complete without myrrhdering an old favourite!

    (This can be read by any volunteer and a little fiddle and even concertina music in the background would add good atmospheric flavour)

    Night before Chanukah (keeping in mind the ethnic minorities at this time)

    'T was the night before Chanukah, as it is said
    And Santa was sitting and hocking his head
    He had all the toys wrapped up nice in his zeckel
    For naked steamy maidlach and boys to give each one a peckel
    The reindeer were saddled and ready to fly
    Like a crew of brave guinea pigs all through the sky
    But Santa was starving to eat a good meichel
    Some regular sauna food that would stick to his beichel
    Not seed cakes or green curry or chocolate quails
    But some kosher cooking he thought would not fail
    So he called to his reindeer, "Hey, kinder, let's go
    To a Jewish balbusta and don't be so slow."
    The house had no chimney, this is Oz after all,
    so he went up the stairs and walked through the door
    And kissed the mezzuzah and jumped on the floor
    Then the man of the house said, "Santa you devil
    Come on, don't be shy and see our split level
    The night is still early, there's plenty of zeit
    So come in the den and please have a bite
    If only we knew you were coming, by gosh
    But I'll call out the wife and she'll give you a nosh
    A slice of stuffed derma, a few little strudels
    Some chicken salami, some flanken with noodles
    Some blintzes, some kreplach, some lox and bialy
    A bissel chopped herring, an end piece of chaleh
    And if all of these goodies don't fill up your gatkes
    Last but not least, some Chanukah latkes."
    "A latke?" cried Santa, "what is this delight?"
    On the outside it's golden and inside it's white.
    On the outside so crisp and inside it's yummy
    And he gobbled them up 'til he filled his fat tummy.
    Then they gave him a dreidel and showed him the plays
    And he took a menorah to light for eight days
    And to give Santa some spirit and to show how they felt
    For mazel they gave him some Chanukah gelt.
    He beamed and he chuckled and said "Kine-ahaora,
    I don't want to feel like a Chanukah schnorrer
    To show you how much I enjoyed your Jewish snack
    I'm leaving you everything, even my sack."
    Then he called to his reindeer and said, "Luz mir gehn."
    And each one got ready as he schlepped on the rein
    "Giddyap Irving, Hoo Ha Sidney, Hi ho Sadie, Let's go Minnie,
    Onward Gussie, Upward Solly, Ole Becky, Oy Vey Molly."
    And they swore that he yelled as he rode out of sight
    "MERRY LATKES" to all and to all a GOOD NIGHT."


    I know Samir could revert for the durations from Muslim to Jewish, but in case he is reluctant, a Very Rough Translations of the yiddish is as follows:
    zeckel= bag * maidlach = girl * peckel = coin
    meichel = meal * beichel = stomach * kinder = children
    balbusta = Suzanna/lady of the house (usually a very nice description)
    mezzuzah = Commandments inside a small oblong ornament attached to right side of the door jam
    zeit = life * nosh = snack * stuffed derma = cow intestines
    flanken = flank steak
    blintzes = rolled like a crepe, but stuffed full with
    fruit & cottage cheese (or something similar)
    bissel = a little piece * lox = smoked salmon (fish)
    bialy = kind of roll, sold with bagels * chaleh = bread
    gatkes = guts * latkes = potato pancakes
    dreidel = special spinning top, with hebrew letters on the side,
    used for a game at Chanukah
    menorah = candle holder for symbolic Chanukah candle lighting
    mazel = luck
    gelt = coins
    schnorrer: cheapskate, typically used to descibe someone who always takes, but never gives anything back


    Have a wonderful Christmas Sauna, Everyone, and come back safely in the New Year!
    ----Red Shoes

    Sunday, December 18, 2005

    SUNDAY 18th UPDATE

    Hi Saunaistas - we still need Salads and side dishes to go with Sam's creation.
    I am making a cooling fruit punch/brew when I get home from work. We are expecting 12 or so people.

    Ciao.


    I will be there with bells on (if I can attach them) with a side dish. Have I worked out this blogging/posting/commenting yet? PopCulture Tart

    Monday, December 12, 2005

    Fruit Salad

    Fruit Salad with Love Spell
    Adapted from Recipe by Morgana of Hawaii

    Make a salad of the below-listed ingredients, concentrating on the love you wish to share. Chant the Spell Incantation as you chop and slice.

    Fruit Salad Ingredients:
    • 1 cup Mango1/2 cup Pine Nuts (optional)
    • 1 cup Pineapple, to be cut into bite-size chunks
    • 1 cup Apple, to be cut into bite-size chunks
    • 1 cup Peaches, to be cut into bite-size chunks
    • 2 or 3 Bananas, to be sliced (depending on personal preference)
    • 1 small jar Red Cherries
    • 1/2 cup Coconut (if desired)

    Spell Incantation:
    Fruit of mango, fruit of pine, let the one I love be mine.
    Fruit of apple, fruit of peach,Bring him (her) close within my reach.
    Fruit of banana, fruit of cherry,Let his (her) love for me not vary.
    As I work my magick spell,Warmly in his (her) heart I dwell.
    I now invoke the Law of Three:This is my will, so mote it be!

    Mingle the fruits and place your hands on either side of the bowl, while visualizing you and your loved one building a life together.

    Then serve the salad.

    (The above recipe for "Fruit Salad with Love Spell" is adapted from Morgana of Hawaii's recipe in Scott Cunningham's book "The Magic in Food: Legends, Lore & Spells", page 243, Llewellyn Publications, 1990.)


    Tags:

    Sunday, December 11, 2005

    Happy Solstice from Sam + Recipe

    I claim mains duty for Sunday the 18th. In the spirit of summer solstice I will be making a pork-meatball dish with lots of festive flavour (dates, sultanas, currants, cinnamon, mulled wine, almonds).

    This year instead of Christmas Cards (because let's face it, they don't really represent the spirit of gift giving for anyone anymore) I am sending friends a recipe. I found the one below in a copy of "Delicious." magazine and it has been tried and tested. Lover even asked for leftovers the next day, a very rare thing!

    Love, Sam

    "Soupe aux Marrons" (Chestnut Soup)

    1kg of Chestnus (or 500g of chestnut puree)
    2 tbs unsalted butter
    1 large or 2 small onions, finely sliced
    1 garlic glove, finely chopped
    1 carrot, peeled, finely chopped
    1 stick celery, finely sliced
    1 potato, peeled, diced
    1 rasher of bacon, rind removed, finely chopped
    1 litre chicken stock
    200ml thickened cream, plus extra to drizzle
    Chopped parsley for garnish

    Cut a small slit in the shell of each chestnut and cook in boiling water for 15 minutes. Remove shell and inner skins.

    Melt butter in a large, heavy based saucepan and add vegetables and bacon. Cook over low heat for about 5 minutes. Add chestnuts and stock. Bring to the boil, cover, and simmer over low heat for 25 to 30 minutes. Allow to cool slightly, puree in batches in a blender until smooth. Return to pan, and heat gently, stir in cream and season with salt and pepper.

    To serve drizzle with cream and garnish with parsley.

    Tags:


    THE VIEW FROM FES: Contemplating Morocco

    Saturday, December 10, 2005

    Wicked Wicca - Pagan Christmas Sauna


    Once again this year the Wicked Wica Witches will be holding a special Pagan Festive Sauna... complete with Joulupukki delivering presents to one and all.

    The date is Sunday the 18th - The time is Sunset.


    Bring food and drink


    Bring something to sacrifice.
    (Rastas will be bringing a CD or two to toss upon the altar.... Long live Fred)


    Tags:


    THE VIEW FROM FES: Contemplating Morocco

    Tuesday, December 06, 2005

    Sunday Sauna 11th December















    Only two weeks and a bit 'til
    Woodford Folk Festival


    Tell us if you are coming to the Sauna Sunday.

    Mains: Kali will bring Spanish quails in chocolate sauce. So for sides we need potatoes or other root veg (to sop up sauce) and some green veg please.
    Primrose and Rastas will bring along green veges and taties..


    Salads:
    Dessert: Zany and Samir... (Is this going to be a no dairy-low fat challange?)
    Extras:
    WE STILL NEED Wine/Cider/ GUINNESS!:
    Apologies: Sam will be away dancing with bells on.
    Shez will also be absent and must bring a note next time.

    ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A HUGE XMAS SAUNA>>> OR SIMPLY A BIG ONE THE WEEK BEFORE?




















    Tags:


    THE VIEW FROM FES: Contemplating Morocco